We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's shark week go big or go home
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
