Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He did a backflip because drugs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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