You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Randomize
