he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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