Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
