um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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