A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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