Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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