i just had sex bonerless
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
