omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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