So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
