'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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