Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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