Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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