wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
