You made me cry and you don't even care
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
