i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
