why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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