i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
