my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
