There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
