I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
