Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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