brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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