Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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