considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she peed on how many people?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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