I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
