At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
