yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
