Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
