just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
