i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize