I accidentally had phone sex last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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