i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
