My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
