I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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