i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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