508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
