please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
