Sponge bath it is.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
