Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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