ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
