brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
