i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
