I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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