She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
