i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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