So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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