THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
