He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
