I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
