omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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