reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the day after is always just damage control
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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