Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
