okay pat passed out under dana's car
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My bed smells like the plague
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
