But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
