haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
