he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
