Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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